Video Game Paparazzi: Samus's Best Shots
AtomicGamer's first-ever Video Game Paparazzi Contest is over, and it was a rousing success! We saw Samus as she's never been seen before: in love, on the run, and choking her fans. And now we present to you: The Best of Samus…at her worst.
Best Use of Anonymous Testimonials
This award goes to the dangerous Dfecht, winner of our Transforming History contest, and avid fictional photographer. While he won't win any awards for his spelling (you could say it plauges him), his sense of humor is second to none.
Best Bad Photoshop
This is the worst entry, and we mean that in a good way. Actually, we mean that in every way. This is crude from top to bottom…to Luigi. Bad Photoshop is an irreverent art that few understand, but Skrams has mastered it - with very little effort.
Best Assault on a Fan
As someone meant to act out action fantasies, could you really count on Samus not to choke obnoxious fans? And the answer, as RedcoatKezz illustrates, is no. With that settled, we can turn to other pressing issues, such as what that guy said. Our guess? That Master Chief didn't know she was a girl…until it was over.
Most Controversial
Errrskate151's entry is like a punch in the face. But that's the funny thing about tabloids - you don't want to be the best, the most responsible, or the most considerate. No, you want to be aggressively wrong. And in that regard, Errrskate151's entry is just right.
Most Romantic Entry
Finally, the bread-and-butter of tabloid topics - celebrity romance. Melonie's cover represents the honeymoon phase - where the relationship is so new, the tabloids haven't even begun to look for ways to make it fall apart. Of course, it's all down hill from here ("Samus Adopts 30 Metroids!"; "Master Chief's Texts to Cortana: They're Sucking the Life Out of Me!"), but someday Samus and Master Chief will be able to look back on this cover and see the love they had...if not the legs.
Best Narrative
There's a lot to like about tehfedaykin's cover. It's the National Enquirer, so you know it's a serious infidelity story that will inevitably be proven true. Samus's soft image evokes daytime TV, and the text down the left side perfectly lays out the plot, while inviting you inside the cover for the sordid details. We're sold.
THE WINNER
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner, and it is this excellent entry from UkyoTachibana! This People cover is so convincing, you almost expect to see an assortment of gums and mints sitting right next to it. Though we aren't sure what makes a sex tape "Sultry," we do know what makes a cover stand out, and it's the kind of striking image featured here. We look forward to a future issue when Tiger's SUV is found smoldering in a crater.
For his excellent effort, UkyoTachibana receives a copy of Metroid: Other M for the Nintendo Wii! The first entry in the series designed by Team Ninja (of Ninja Gaiden fame), Metroid: Other M reveals yet another side of Samus - the one that knows kung-fu.
And that wraps up our first ever Video Game Paparazzi contest! It was fun, sordid, and oh so revealing, and we look forward to just another such contest in the near future. Stay tuned.
